Unnecessary Antics

不必要

　　　In civil litigation courts grant a fair deal of leeway for injuries sustained in sport.  To heavy a hand might deter participants from full good faith involvement.  Players assume the risk of injury.  Can't sue for something that's just a necessary part of the game.  The same goes for spectators in many circumstances.  If you twist your wrist trying to catch a foul ball, don't expect any judge to grant you damages. Just part of the game, after all.

   Most injuries that occur in sport, even for spectators, could not be prevented without seriously altering the way the game is played.  You can't surround an entire baseball stadium in protective glass to avoid errant foul balls.  Teams just have to make sure that the fans are aware of the situation and hope they keep aware.  Loose balls are a necessary part of the game.  

   After an injury at a minor league baseball game in Rancho Cucamonga (one of my favorite cities to pronounce out loud), a California court had to consider a new variation on spectator litigation:

   Are mascots a necessary part of the game?

  

"Tremor" seen here before devouring 5 hot dogs, 7 beers, a box of Cracker Jacks, and 2 players yet to be named.

   The Rancho Cucamonga (cannot say that name too many times in a day) mascot, Tremor, was scuttling about entertaining fans when a foul ball flew into his section of the seats.  As it so happened, the very same fan he had been distracting from behind with his tail was standing directly in the path of the ball.  Bonk ensued.

   If mascots are necessary to the course of a baseball game, then the injury would be an inherent risk (no liability).  Said the court, "foul balls represent an inherent risk to spectators attending baseball games...Can the same thing be said about the antics of the mascot? We think not."*

  Wonder how they'd feel about the sausage race...

  *Lowe v. California League of Professional Baseball

Cleaning with Gasoline

爆発ネズミ

(click to enlarge)

Easements

地役権

   Today in property class we discussed easements. Basically, an easement is what happens when a property owner allows an outside party to use part of the land. This usually occurs when a municipality builds pipes, electric wires, or sidewalks through someone's private land. It also occurs when a property owner allows passage to outsiders through a path or road on the property.

   One of the cases we read on the topic concerned a dispute between neighbors over an easement. Neighbor A required the use of a path on Neighbor B's land to reach the main road. This continued for years without issue until B decided to build a dam on his property. The dam, as dams tend to do, caused water to build up near the path, muddying it to the point where vehicles couldn't pass anymore.

   Introducing the case, the professor quipped, "He couldn't drive his Chevy to the levee until the levee was dry."

   A brief ovation followed.

The Soul of Wit

起きたらまだ恐竜がいた。

　　A Latin American literature course once introduced me to the imaginary wonders flash fiction could induce with Augosto Monterroso's tale, "Upon awakening, the dinosaur was still there." (Cuando despertó, el dinosaurio todavía estaba allí).

    That's not the title. That's the entire story. Readers are free to imagine the rest of the scenario by themselves, and, hoo boy is it fun. Time travel? Flintstones? Genetic engineering revival of extinct species à la Jurassic Park? Who would wake up next to a dinosaur? Seriously, who? Not only that, the response from the central figure isn't surprise or fear but merely, "oh, still here, eh?" So much to think about.

   American literature has a famous, albeit decidedly more tragic, take on flash fiction often erroneously attributed to Hemingway, "For sale: baby shoes, never worn". 6 words that tell a great deal.

   Why talk of flash fiction? Well, today in my torts class I came across a line that sounded like a great flash fiction piece. The text is taken from a description of a case that I will not discuss here. Let your imagination fill in the gaps.


   "When the attendant turned on the electricity to start the ride, the mental patients began to converge on the plaintiff."*




*Text taken from Mark F. Grady's discussion of the case of Satcher v. James H. Drew Shows, Inc. in his casebook on torts.

Mock Trial

模擬裁判

   Mock trial is basically a scripted romp through litigation proceedings. The case teams had to present was a wrongful death suit against Hogwarts on behalf of one of the students that died in Harry Potter (spoilers!). I saw a couple of people in themed robes the day information about the event was shared. Didn't actually go myself, but it seemed like it could be fun.

   By request, I made a picture for the winning team.

Fist Bumping

米文化発見

Cultural Discoveries in the USA

So, some things have changed since I left this land 7 years ago. Been gradually learning and re-adjusting.

• They're putting peanut butter in small pretzels now.
  Not a bad idea, I guess.
• Pumpkin latté, pumpkin cereal, pumpkin ice cream, pumpkin spice, pumpkin pastry, pumpkin beer...and we don't even have proper seasons in California to appreciate the harvest.
• 枝豆: Edamame is a thing now. I don't even need to translate the word to ask for it in a store. Way to spread your food culture, Nihon! Now let's try to get Americans to taste 白子. We'll have to say it's pretty much anything other than what it really is, but people will adapt. It's, uh... fish pearls? marine milk? prairie oysters of the sea?
• Food trucks! Fusion is hot these days. Korean tacos, Japanese hot dogs, chicken and waffles (also, the only way to get me to visit Georgia). Sure, sometimes the mixes don't work out, but the creative culinary attempts are fun to experience.
• What is kale? Does anyone really know? I think it's a word stores pepper into menus to sell items to people eager to try "healthier" options. Kale salad, kale smoothie, kale pumpkin...
• I raise my fist to greet you? Really? How is bumping fists a proper "how do you do"? I remember hearing rumors of such things way back when, but I didn't think it would catch on. So aggressive, and, yet, so passive. Is it odd to anyone else that lightly punching people passes for a friendly greeting?

There will be more oddities to come, I'm sure.
That's all for now.

جوجه

高級高齢学生

Students of Exclusively Elite Age

     On the first day of studies I wandered into the mass collective of unfamiliarity milling about the law school courtyard and struck up a conversation with a fellow that, coincidentally, happened to be my age.

     "Everybody seems so young!" We both observed. Not to say that either of us felt particularly old, but surrounded by so many faces fresh out of undergrad or only a year two removed, we could certainly sense a gap between ourselves and the majority. A few years employment, time abroad, life experience; it all adds up pretty quickly and changes perspective a great deal. 

     As it turns out, we are actually part of an elite group. We learned during orientation that we're in the top 10% of our class!  ...(in age)... 10% of the class are 28 and older.

     Half tongue-in-cheek, half curious, I sent out a message to gather all those elites interested in hanging out with fellow members of the top 10%. About a dozen people showed up, and we've been in regular communication since week one. Although we're all in the same school, we're in different study groups which can actually make it difficult to see each other without making specific plans.

     Everyone in the school has an interesting background or at least a sharp mind, most people are even rather adept at conversation, but the old folks, man, they've got the stories. Having spent years far away from law school, we're not as prone to academic tunnel-vision as we would have been had we jumped into this straight from undergrad. Time with this group is proving to be a great way to escape the drudges of law school (hey, we've got other things to talk about!) while still being around people who understand the experience. 

     The backgrounds are varied: business, construction, education, philosophy, real-estate, travel, trapeze, translation, and on and on.

Can't seem to get this guy to talk much about his past work, though it does seem interesting.

     Also, catering! We have a caterer. While the جوجه*, as some of us affectionately call the young folk, spend their Thursdays "pre-gaming" with plastic cups, ping-pong balls, and Pabst; we participate in cocktail parties in a lovely home with actual furniture and framed artwork. Yes, actual furniture. 

     At the most recent cocktail party, I noticed someone who seemed underage and asked to confirm. "I'm 24," she confessed, "but I have back issues, so it's OK." There actually was an interview, apparently. Do you really have back pain? How much? Where? Since when?

     We are an exclusive people, after all.

*That's a Persian word. جوجه (juje) No, it's not profane. Look it up in Google image search if you want to know what it means. Living so close to "Tehrangeles", as the area just South of me is known, it'd be a shame not to pick up something.

     

Birthday Weekend

誕生日

Last weekend we had multiple birthdays out here in the lawlands. Some had parties, some didn't. For a couple of people that didn't, I distracted myself from the real work I had to do by making birthday images.

This is my means of ingratiating myself to people with greater working knowledge of subjects I'll be marked on later.

"Thanks, man. That's neat."
A couple minutes pass.
"Oh, hey, that's my face. I guess I should keep this."

3 Wolves and a Lamb Step Out for Brunch

学生自治会選挙

Student Government Elections

    Shortly after matriculating (a word we need to incorporate in conversation more often, I believe), the school invited us to participate in elections to decide representatives for our class and study sections. Hearing about this for the first time, most of us responded, "Oh, that exists here?" but a tiny smattering of would-be-Washingtons boldly stepped forward and declared, "I could do that if everyone is OK with it, I guess."

    After the results were known and there was no risk left in supporting particular candidates, I courageously submitted the following campaign posters which no one asked me to make.

Le Président de la République Bruin

   I really had an easy time voting for this section leader.

It's all Courier from here, babe.

法科大学の最初の一歩

First Steps of Law School

(I like to write headings in Japanese because it makes White people think I have mystical Asian super powers)

     After 7 years in Japan I made an abrupt transition back into academia this summer. Has life changed much? Yeah. Small talk, small talk, sushi, sumo, rice, small talk, small talk, fat people, hamburgers, American women, small talk, small talk, hot weather right?

     Hopefully, I'll figure out what I'm doing when I get where I'm going. 

     In the meantime, I'm probably just going to post lots of photoshopped pictures to this blog. That's become my thing here, I guess. "Hello, I know we don't know each other well yet, but I want you to know that you'd look great as an absolute monarch in the 17th century. Here's proof." (proof forthcoming)

     First impressions: surprising dearth of self-absorbed jerks, surprising abundance of free meals. I've met a lot of fascinating and friendly people. I look forward to superimposing all of their faces into embarrassing imaginary situations in the years to come (when you got a shtick, run with it).

"...and 10% of your class are 28 and older..."